My Book

So, I'm writing a book. I've written a book, but I've given up all attempts to edit, type, and get it published. I wrote it my freshman year of high school. It was pretty dang good, if I do say so myself (which I do). I was in that 14/15 year old girl stage, so it is about love and werewolves. I wrote it a long time ago, before Twilight became a big thing, but post-Twilight, vampires and werewolves have kinda gotten overplayed in my opinion, so Crimson Regret (Cool name, huh?) will sit on my bookshelf for a long time.


I've started a few books since that one was written, but I haven't finished any of them. They are all in a folder that I also have sitting here. I used to pick one up every now and then and add a little to it when I had a good idea for it, but other than that they are usually untouched. 


The book I am working on now is (in my opinion) the best idea I've had yet. The idea (I'm going to give it away, yes, but only vaguely) is that every country in the world has turned against the United States. It is written a few years in the future, the main character is a girl, and I am writing it in first person, present tense...which is freakin hard! There are a lot of details that I have worked out that I am not going to reveal to you all, but I WILL post a little sample of the book. 


If anyone has title suggestions, leave a comment telling me what it is:) I am definitely open to ideas!

I suppose this is Hell. It has to be. Tortured screams of pain, both physical and emotional, are the only things that I can hear. There is fire burning everywhere, consuming everything, resulting in thick smoke so black that it takes me a full minute to recognize the things around me. Hell looks a lot like downtown.

A ringing in my ears gradually starts to grow louder until I can no longer hear the howling of the people on the streets. The ringing becomes so intense that I clap my hands over my ears in pain. I hold them there for a long moment until the sound fades and is replaced by an uncomfortable deafness. The world around me is almost completely muted and the sensation makes me feel dizzy. When I move my hands away from my face and back to my lap, my palms are covered in blood.

My lungs throb in my chest and I give a few hard coughs, then shudder as I vomit the entire contents of my stomach, which isn't much. The vile taste of acid fills my mouth and I spit a few times, even after I am done throwing up, to try to rid myself of the taste. I quickly cover my burning nose and mouth with my tattered, grimy shirt, trying to get a cleaner breath as I blink my eyes tightly closed. The smoke stings and causes my eyes to water, making it even harder to see. As a dull ache begins to set over my whole body, I become more conscious of reality. I am flooded with a mix of emotions that I cannot immediately place or explain. Relief, anger, fear, and sadness? It is such an odd combination that I do not understand it until I see the building in front of me. What remains of an old brick flower shop is barely recognizable. The bottom half is almost completely rubble, and the top floor of the building is gone. The loft where my family lived. My home. Gone.

Yes, this is Hell. But this is also really downtown. I am alive...at least for now. I know that staying here means certain death. I know that another air raid will soon follow the first, and I know that I may very well suffocate or bleed to death if I don't find help. But I don't have the strength or the will to move. No sense of urgency forces me to get to safety. So I lay my head down on the cobblestone sidewalk on the side of the road and close my eyes, drifting far away from the graveyard around me.

Newness.

Sooo, these past few days have been amazing! Nothing has really happened, but I feel pretty dang great! 


Today I taught my primary class--I just love them:) Those kids are so amazing and they are so SMART! They have the sweetest little spirits, and their faith is just so amazing to me. I learn so much from them all of the time. They are the CTR7 class, so it's really neat so see how they act preparing to get baptized and after they are baptized. Such great little examples! 


On a really random note, I messed with the set-up of my blog and added some new music. I had to throw some Beach Boys in there. Some of the songs are happier, some empowering, some sad. I'm a girl, I have my moments. These songs are all some of my favorites. Anyways, I changed the format to only show 3 posts at a time, so if you want to turn the music off or pick a different song you don't have to scroll down so far. You can access all old posts by clicking "Older Posts" at the bottom of the page or you can find the archive of all posts by date on the left hand side. 


Feel free to leave me comments or ask questions that I will answer in my next blog post. These questions can be serious, silly, simple, or complex. I'll answer any of them, so ask away! I also changed the "impressions" that you can choose. I only put "inspired to do stupid things" and "I'm offended" intentionally. By the way, if you mark "I'm offended" I won't take you seriously. And if you are serious, well that's just too dang bad for you, isn't it? Nothing's changing on your account.


Anyways, that's all for today!

To My Husband (4)

Love,


I decided that for you, I will implement a new idea in my life, semi-inspired by Sarah Chambers and Erin Gillie (two of the most cheerful, optimistic and amazing girls I know!). I have decided that every morning I am going to list off 5 different reasons that I am grateful for that day. Then, at the end of the night, I am going to list off 5 more things that made my day awesome. 


I have a very negative attitude, but I don't want to burden you down with it, and I certainly don't want our children to have a bad outlook on life. This is going to be a very hard thing for me to do, because I am not a very optimistic person. I very rarely see any silver lining in the clouds. I realize that this needs to change for several reasons. I am going to list off all ten of these reasons since it is the middle of the day.


1. I am grateful that I was going to get to teach primary today.
2. I am grateful that I was healthy and feeling well.
3. I am grateful that I woke up without any negative feelings.
4. I am grateful that I was going to get to attend church.
5. I am grateful that I was able to wake up in a warm, comfortable bed.


1. Today was awesome because I have the best kids in primary ever.
2. Today was awesome because I learned "where love is, there God is also."
3. Today was awesome because I was able to talk to some very helpful friends.
4. Today was awesome because I got to hear a couple conversion stories that strengthened my testimony.
5. Today was awesome because I realized that I can still talk to you about whatever I want and you have to love me, because by the time you ever read this it will (hopefully!) be too late! Haha.


Things have been crazy lately. I've been trying to sort through a lot, and I think I'm finally starting to see how. A lot of it I need to do on my own, and some people don't understand that. It's not that I don't want help--I'd love it. But the things that I worry about are things that I need to work through on my own, or I'll never truly handle the issues. I don't know. But I'm doing this for you AND I'm doing this for me. 


I love you. Sorry to keep you waiting. 


Love, 
Your Future Wife