All my Children

I decided to do something a little different today. Instead of writing another letter to my future husband, I decided that I would write a letter to my children. Ya know, for if I have any. So yeah....


Kids,


I know that if you are reading this, you must be really bored. I can't imagine why bright kids like yourselves would have decided to look through this probably old and forgotten blog of mine. Maybe you'll learn something new about me, or maybe it will just be a big waste of time. If you don't learn anything about me, maybe you will see something that will let you learn from me. I hope I'm not a complete idiot of a mother. I know I can be daft now, something that I probably don't admit in front of you guys EVER. Well right now I'm 19, I can admit to being stupid sometimes.


I hope you learn from my experiences. And I hope you learn the right things--I really hope that. I have absolutely no idea what the future holds. While I am writing this I don't know how many of you there are, whether you are boys or girls, how old you are, or even who your father is. But I want you to know that I love you. That may sound silly to you, since I'm 19 and you aren't close to being born....not at all. But I still love you,  I know I will.


I want you to know that when I yell at you, it's because I care. That or your father made me angry. I'm sorry if I take it out on you if that is the case. I hope that you are happy at home. I hope that there is little argument in our house and that you feel like your home is a safe haven for you. I know how important that is and I want so much to be able to give you what you deserve. I want to be someone that you can come to and rely on. I've been through hell and back and I'm only 19. I hope that by the time you need me, I will have some wisdom to offer you, and that you feel comfortable talking to me about whatever is going on.


I also want you to know that I love your father. I don't know what kind of relationship we have. I hope it's a very happy one. I know from the point of view of the kids, your parents may not always seem like they make each other happy. It's hard on the whole family when parents are fighting, I know. But I don't want you kids to ever worry. I love your father, and I know that he loves me too. Everyone argues, so I don't want you to worry that we can't work things out. We will always work things out--if we didn't think that we could, we wouldn't have gotten married. But I know that we are the best people for each other, because if we weren't then I have the strong feeling that God wouldn't have been as approving of our marriage.


Speaking of which, kids, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is the only true church on this earth. It is the restored gospel of Christ and if you live by it's teachings, you will always be blessed. That doesn't mean that hard things won't happen. Quite the contrary, Satan has a way of making things harder when you are doing the right things in life. Just remember that you are never alone. I don't know how open I am about my testimony. I hope that the things I believe are apparent in your lives. The things that the church teaches are true, and I believe that with all of my heart. The best thing I ever did was read The Book of Mormon. I learned for myself what I believed and found that the things that I was raised in were true. It is my plan to raise you all in the church, but if for some crazy horrible reason I am not, go ahead and yell at me for it. I won't ground you, I promise. The gospel is such a blessing in my life, and if I deny you that, I am so sorry. I don't know what will happen--I am the first to admit that sometimes my priorities get mixed up and that I forget the things that are really important. I love you kids so much that it shouldn't be hard to remind me.


I hope that you get to meet some of the people that have profoundly changed my life outside of your relatives. Laurie Quigley is one of them. She was a young women's leader when I was a few years younger, and she  really is one of the most amazing women I know. And I hope that you have met the Crocker family. All of them are such great examples to me. They are there for any questions or problems that I ever have, and they check in on me from time to time. I don't have a lot of words to describe how grateful I am for their influence in my life, especially Dave Crocker, who was my Sunday School teacher. I will say that he is one of the people responsible for sparking my interest in the church and making me want to find what I believed for myself, and I cannot thank him enough for that. The Crockers and Sister Quigley are only a few examples of the people outside of our family that have helped to shape my life, and I hope that you will be able to meet them some day.


Kids, I want you to know how proud I am of you for all of the great decisions you make and all of your accomplishments. I don't expect you to be perfect. I know that is an impossibility. But I know that you are good children and that you try hard to do the right things. I know that you will influence the people around you for the better. I am so blessed to have you. I couldn't have asked for more wonderful children. You wonder how I can say that without you even being born yet? Momma knows. hehehe. :) I love you. Be good and listen to your father, because he loves you and he wants what is best for you just as much as I do. (But you can show me this post and I will take you out for dessert while he is at work, even if he thinks it will spoil your appetite for dinner. heehee)


Love,
Mom