Angst

Fml.


Shall I say it again?


Fml.


Yesterday was a bad night for Chelsea. Luckily Laura called, and Jenna was there to listen to me rant about the same thing that I always rant about--the only thing I ever rant about, actually. The whole thing is a complicated mess and it makes me want to scream. But I can't. I get to sit like a good little girl and act like I don't have a care in the world (I'm really bad at that...) so that I can keep doing what I'm doing. Because I did what I did for good reasons. Granted, those reasons may not really be what I said they were, but my reasons are really good reasons. Sacrifice. I bring it up all of the time. They say sacrifice brings forth the blessings of Heaven. I'm not seeing those. Basically I'm just feeling how crappy life gets to be.


I'm good for awhile, and then BAM. It hits me like a ton of bricks and I am so shaken that I can't even function, and can hardly breathe. Everything is erased from my mind except for that one thing, and it eats me alive. There are some things that I miss so much that I can't even stand it. But I have to stand it. Sacrifice.